 |
| The sonic screwdriver of the 11th Doctor. This is the model we use. |
Every profession has its tools. For editors, the toolkit
generally includes a computer/monitor(s)/keyboard setup, word-processing software
(usually Word), macros, shortcuts, reference materials (print and electronic),
often a timer of some sort, perhaps a project management program, and the one
tool without which none of this would work—the editor’s brain. Every once in a
while, though, you’ll find yourself in an editing situation that calls for a
different tool. A special tool. A tool that is not usually associated with
editing. In this series, we’ll be taking a look at some of these lesser-known
editing tools. Perhaps one or two of them will find a place in your editing
toolkit.
Introducing the sonic screwdriver
Today’s tool is the sonic screwdriver.[1] If
you are not familiar with the BBC series Doctor
Who, you have perhaps never heard of this tool. The sonic screwdriver is
the Doctor’s basic, all-purpose tool, useful for tasks such as picking locks,
disabling or enabling electronics, picking up various sorts of signals … and,
oddly enough, tightening and loosening screws.
But what can a sonic screwdriver do for you?
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| Peter Capaldi, the current Doctor Who, photographed on set. |
Given that the sonic screwdriver is the tool the Doctor has relied on in many a tight situation, your
friends at The Breaded Tortoise
wondered if it might have some as yet undiscovered editing functions. We have
discovered something miraculous.[2]
Every once in a while, you will come
across a sentence (and we use the term loosely) that you just cannot figure
out. The authors of these collections of words have hidden their true intentions
so cleverly that normal editorial techniques fail. No amount of rereading, reading
aloud, reading backward, staring, or swearing is helpful.
Time to break out the sonic screwdriver.[3]
Choose your model
 |
| The 12th Doctor's sonic screwdriver. If you want maximum functionality, this is the model for you. |
Sonic screwdrivers are available in several models, each
corresponding to a particular Doctor. The current Doctor, played by Peter
Capaldi, has a state-of-the-art screwdriver with more functions than our model
has. We understand it has four light modes and four sound effects. We are
fairly sure that some combination of light and sound would be useful in
formatting notes and bibliographies. Some other combination could be used to
fix problems with verb tenses. The possibilities are endless.[4]
Various models can be found on Amazon for between $12 and $30.
For a device that can preserve your sanity, this is a steal.
How to operate a sonic screwdriver
Just point your screwdriver at the offending word or
sentence, and press the button.[5] Easy
peasy. But don't tell your clients that you're using a bit of British sci-fi equipment on their manuscripts. Best to let them think you're brilliant.
What’s the best fix
your sonic screwdriver has made? Let us know in the comments!
Peter Capaldi. By Shaun Smith [CC
BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia
Commons.
Eleventh Doctor's sonic screwdriver. By Sonicdrewdriver (Own work) [CC
BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia
Commons.
The twelfth Doctor’s screwdriver. By Character Options [CC BY-SA 4.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons.
[1]
Disclaimer: The sonic screwdriver serves no actual editorial function and
should not be relied upon in professional editing situations. Results depicted in
this post are for illustration purposes only and are not guaranteed. The Breaded Tortoise just wants you to
have a little fun with your work.
[2]
Not really.
[3]
The sentence shown in the video is very similar to one we encountered in the
wild several years ago. A “crystal tear drop slanderer hanging from the sealing”
is not something we could make up.
[4]
Because we are making them up.
[5]
Nothing will happen, but you might feel a bit better.
